The Difference Between Kerries and Cats

Submitted by Ron Ledbetter

A peak in the diary of a Kerry and a cat reveals their inner thoughts.

As seen in a Kerry’s diary:

8am — Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9am — Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

10am – Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!

11am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

Noon – Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

1pm — Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!

3pm — Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

4pm — Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5pm — Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!

7pm — Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

9pm — Oh Boy! Sleeping in master’s bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat’s diary:

Day 183 of my captivity…

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction
I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded — must
try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair — must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.
More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn more about what this is, and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies, or more likely snitches. The Kerry is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room, for now his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…

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