submitted by Wayne Lewis, Australia
- Being able to unclench your teeth when you are fifth in a class of five.
- Rushing into the ladies room five minutes before ring time to exchange your crummy slacks for your dashing new outfit, only to find no doors and a
half grown boy waiting for his mommy. How come daddies never take daughters into the men’s room?
- Meeting friends in a parking lot at 5:00 am to exchange dogs wearing a dirty raincoat over your nightie.
- Buying a $35 picture where you look like something left over from Halloween, but the dog looks great.
- Getting down on your knees one more time while feeling your last pair of pantyhose shredding.
- Crawling into the van and cleaning up the results of nervous diarrhea in the middle of summer.
- Resisting the impulse to abandon on the expressway the idiot who upchucks in his crate after you spent half the night grooming the creature.
- Crying your head off after selling a puppy, and two weeks later the ungrateful wretch doesn’t even remember you.
- Spending three weeks preparing a super whelping box, then watching her whelp behind the couch.
- Packing three suitcases for Kerry, and a shoe box for yourself.
- Not taking the deep six when number two bitch comes in season two days before number one bitch goes out.
- Not screaming when the P.A. system goes berserk and you wind up scraping your dog off the ceiling.
- Not strangling the clod behind you who steps on your heels and suddenly you are wearing only one shoe while running around the ring.
- Riding 300 miles home after losing a major to a friend and still being friends.
- Sleeping scrunched into a 2 x 2 foot ball, while tomorrow’s star sprawls in total comfort in your bed.
- Rolling out of a warm bed and crawling into a cold van on Sunday morning.