K-9 Rescue Barbie

We’ve all heard about Menopausal Barbie and Trailer Park Barbie, now here’s one for us:

This Christmas season, give the latest, hottest new Barbie — K-9 Rescue Barbie.

She comes with her own Ford Aerostar van, and various size dog crates inside.

She has a cell phone that’s barely working due to over use and underpayment.

Barbie herself is decked out in jeans, grungy athletic shoes, and a T-shirt that says “Dogs are Better Than Any Other Living Thing on Earth”.

She comes with a road atlas of every town and state in all of North America, and a compass on the dashboard of the van. She also has a map of every
McDonald’s in the world.

Optional is the special Rescue Dog Barbie laptop computer with the names and addresses of every other dog rescue person on earth, in case she gets
somewhere and a contact fails to show up.

Prices for accessories are:

  • Running buddy, “Lucky”, the three-legged, blind Shih Tzu doll is available for an additional $ 49.95.
  • Fake snow falling on Barbie’s van: $12.95
  • Flat tire for Barbie’s van: (see Barbie’s Road Service”)
  • Barbie’s First Aid Kit: (human): $11.75, (canine): $69.50
  • Barbie’s Speeding Ticket: $95 (Mississippi–$195)
  • Barbie’s coat-that-she-had-to-buy-in-Minnesota: $85
  • Barbie’s Vet Bill for Lucky in Vaughn, New Mexico: $63.45
  • Barbie’s contact, Rhonda, who she had to give gas money to in Mesa Verde, Texas: $20.
  • Barbie’s bill to get her contact, Luis, out of jail in Bakersfield, California: $500.
  • Barbie’s bill to get Luis’s dogs out of the pound in Bakersfield, California: $265.
  • Barbie’s hotel/kennel bill in Laughlin, Nevada, while she waits for her contact:$532.
  • Barbie’s overalls that she has to buy while in Minden, Nebraska, hunting down lost coonhounds:
  • Pizza for Barbie’s suspicious looking hitch-hiker with sick puppy: $15
  • Vet bill for hitch-hikers sick puppy in Des Moines, Iowa: $143.29
  • Barbie’s doggie wheelchair for “Klause” the rescue dachshund in Leavenworth, Kansas:
  • And Barbie’s van detailing/fumigation from hauling parvo/kennel cough puppies:
  • Barbie’s resume to get new job when she gets home from run: $29.95
  • For $89.95, you can complete the set with “Pissed off husband at home,
    Ken,” and the various foster dogs at $ 20 each.

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