Dog Poems

Doggie Obedience School

by Chelo Lewter, Copyrighted 2002

I took you to school when you were just two,

quite an experience for me and you.

The first day of school

you broke every rule.

You just wanted to play

with the doggies that day.

I took you aside, we had a chat

and attention to me you did pay.

You minded of course and walked by my side,

and along you an I walked with so much great pride.

Both you and I had to learn discipline,

my doggie, my student by own “Kimberdin”.

You were quick to learn, quick to please,

and week after week we were much more at ease.

You did sit; you dis stay; you did heel on command,

and also obeyed with a move of my hand.

You minded me so well of course,

because I now was your teacher, friend and boss.

Week by week we did so well,

and week by week you did excel.

Mother spent the summer with us,

and over you would make a big fuss.

She so much enjoyed coming to school,

and laughed the day you broke every rule.

Remember the week you won first prize?

and gave us both such a nice surprise.

You excelled and won over all the doggies,

but it was really me you wanted to please.

Of all the students you were one of the best,

and had no trouble passing the test.

You gave me such love, such cheer and such pleasure

that those fond memories forever I’ll treasure.

Graduation day you got your certificate, a bone and a cap,

after the ceremony you just jumped into my lap.

It was one of the proudest days for me

my student, my friend, my favorite doggie.

Conformationally Correct

by Jennifer Grundy, Copyrighted1998

I know my ears aren’t quite right,

They have a bit of a prick.

My legs aren’t all the way straight,

But today I learned a new trick!!

Someone messed up and my tail is too short,

More like a Schnauzer or Dobe.

Move your head to the left there Mom,

I missed kissing that ear lobe.

I know I’m bull legged and my chest is too deep,

In a show, they’d give me the gate.

So when you’re off showing the others,

I’ll sit here and patiently wait.

But I can still hunt and I can still race,

I’ll even give obedience a chance.

I can still do lots of things,

Without that perfect stance.

But the best thing of all you’ll find out about me,

Even though I’m not the first you’d select.

I’m still witty and bold and have much love to share,

My heart is conformationally correct.

Dog Breeders Husband

Author unknown, submitted by Susan Dunivant

I’m just a dog breeders husband

I no longer rule my domain.

Even if kindly invited

from opinions I wisely refrain.

I’m just a glorified kennel boy

Of minor importance I know.

It seems my primary function

Is merely providing the dough.

Now dog breeding’s not inexpensive

as you all no doubt are aware.

But the problem’s not so much the money

as the bustle, the wear and the tear.

Having studied the layback of shoulder

and becoming an expert on feet

I still have not learned to give worm pills

or how much the puppy should eat.

My spouse will spend hours grooming

her Bred By Exhibitor bitch

but when it comes to scratching my back

her thought is to let the thing itch!

Someday I hope that my wife’ll take me

wandering to some foreign vale

instead of inspecting the stifle

of some Special stud at Hinsdale.

Off in a crowded motel room

after the dog show is o’er

someone questions the judges decision

while they reach for another drink more.

It appears that his eyesight is failing

his errors in judgment immense.

In fact, if I did not know better

you’d doubt if he had any sense.

One finds that the amateur’s bungling

is no match for professional skills.

A handler can hide what the owner admits

as he tries hard his conscience to still.

The din and the utter confusion

of everyone talking at once

leaves one weary, hoarse and irascible

and the next day a bleary eyed dunce.

Sometimes late in the evening

I’m asked if I do not agree

that Pottowattamie’s Bridget

is somewhat out at the knee.

But before I can answer the question

I find my answer ignored.

For some inexplicable reason

my questioner’s suddenly bored.

I’m only a dog breeders husband

not that I mean to complain.

But I find certain aspects amazing

when I aspire my role to explain.

I know at least where I am going

I’m rapidly going to seed.

But I’ve learned all about Winner’s Bitches

I married the Best of the Breed.

A Puppy Poem

Author Unknown, Submited by
Maryanne Schaefer

Now I lay me down to sleep,

The king-size bed is soft and deep..

I sleep right in the center groove

My human being can hardly move!

I’ve trapped her legs, she’s tucked in tight

And here is where I pass the night

No one disturbs me or dares intrude

Till morning comes and “I want food!”

I sneak up slowly to begin

my nibbles on my human’s chin.

She wakes up quickly,

I have sharp teeth-

I’m a puppy, don’t you see?

For the morning’s here

and it’s time to play

I always seem to get my way.

So thank you Lord for giving me

This human person that I see.

The one who hugs and holds me tight

And shares her bed with me at night.

Hooked

by Heather Denny, Ontario, Canada, Copyrighted.

When I bought my first dog, I wanted a pet

Now five years later I find I’m in debt.

We went to a groomer when he needed a trim

He said “He’s real nice you ought to show him”

It hadn’t occurred to me I might own a winner

After all as a dog owner I was just a beginner

I might not have done it I really must say

If I’d know back then what I know today.

A show lead was purchased, it was only a start

I had no idea with how much cash I would part

Our first show was fun and we really did great

And for the next show I hardly could wait

What I didn’t know then was that I could get hooked

One more show and my goose was cooked

Only then, when it was too late

I knew I needed to purchase a crate

The crate was bought, it was just the beginning

Expenses are many when you’re dog is winning

Shortly thereafter I added a table

A grooming arm too, to hold my dog stable

I bought brushes and combs and scissors galore

Whatever I bought I seemed to need more

I still needed clippers, they were finally bought

The cost was soaring for the bug that I caught

With all these gadgets that I’d nowhere to store

A tack box came next – could there be more?

The equipment got heavy, now I needed a dolly

One more expense to add to my folly

Shampoos and sprays, too numerous to mention

All were suggested with the best of intention

But one final purchase, the biggest by far

A brand new van to carry my “Star”.

When all’s said and done it all seems worth while

As the ribbons he wins I accept with a smile.

How Much Did I Make?

By Lucy Campbell. Submitted by Judy Lamken

The litter was gorgeous and well should it be

The dam was a daughter of Ch. Well Bred Lady.

Her sire, a big winner, an historic old man,

This bitch just couldn’t lose as Miss Fantastic Dam.

She came into season on schedule for me,

The vet said “all healthy,” and I paid his fee.

The stud was tops and asked for a lot,

“It’s worth it,” I thought, though my bank roll was shot.

The shipping was high – she went to L.A.

She went to the vet the very next day.

Her smear told “not ready” for four days, they said,

So she sat in the kennel until she was bred.

Shipped home with a bill, I asked, “What for?”

Why, for pickup and boarding, and vet bill and more.

I paid it, though I hadn’t planned on the rate.

“It’s worth it,” I thought, “for a litter of greats”

For weeks we went back and forth to the vet,

For checkups to be sure that it was all set.

She grew fat and heavy, but complained not a peep,

As I paid for supplements that surely weren’t cheap.

Her whelping was easy, no problems there.

The vet looked at each and handled with care.

“Dewclaws off in three days, Come back then.”

I took out my checkbook and he lent me his pen.

Dewclaws removed, it wasn’t much a deal,

Just a quick cut and suture and a little squeal.

None got infected and the cost was low,

So much more trouble if you just let them grow.

No more free time, I found as a “Mother.”

“It’s worth it,” for I wouldn’t have any other.

The puppies are lovely, they’re just what I sought.

I’ll make back all I’ve spent as soon as they’re bought.

The puppies grew older, shots and food were a need.

“It’s worth it,” said I as I taught them to feed.

Cleanup more often, the smell was not great.

I installed a new run and a puppy proof gate.

The dam’s breeder gets a puppy; one, too I would get.

That leaves three to sell for my debt.

One is too big, that’s surely not good,

Another’s head is all wrong, so he may be a dud.

The last looks okay, but her bite may not be sound,

It may get better, but that’s something I doubt.

The sales are all made, but someone backs out.

A new buyer is found, I’m so glad I could shout!

My bitch is a wreck, can’t be shown for a year,

My new puppy’s good, except for that ear.

“Was it worth it,” say I, “can I really assert?”

How much did I make? I lost my shirt!

“He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.

You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of
such devotion”

Author Unkown

A Poem for New Puppy Owners

Author unknown, submitted by Lisa Frankland

Don’t smell crotches, don’t eat plants.

Don’t steal food or underpants.

Don’t eat my socks, don’t grab my hair…

DON’T RIP THE STUFFING FROM THAT CHAIR!

Don’t eat those peas, don’t touch that bush,

Don’t chew my shoes, what IS this mush?!?

Eat your cookies, drink your drink,

Outta the toilet! Outta the sink!

AWAY FROM THE LITTER BOX, IT’S FOR THE CAT!

(and must you kiss me after that?!?)

Raising a puppy is not for the lazy,

Those rugrats are funny but also quite crazy.

Don’t despair through the toil and the strife,

‘Cause after three years you’ll get back your life!

So let’s go for walkies, so you can do your “thing”,

And maybe I’ll get back my good diamond ring!

We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet, and, amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance
with us.

Maurice Maeterlinck

Grow Old With Dogs

Author unknown. Submitted by Ron Ledbetter

When I am old…

I will wear soft gray sweatshirts…

and a bandana over my silver hair…..

and I will spend my social security checks on wine

and my dogs.

I will sit in my house on my well-worn chair and listen

to my dogs’ breathing.

I will sneak out in the middle of a warm summer night

and take my dogs for a run, if my old bones will allow…

When people come to call,

I will smile and nod as I show them my dogs…

and talk of them and about them…

…..the ones so beloved of the past

and the ones so beloved of today….

I will still work hard cleaning after them, mopping

and feeding them and whispering their names in a

soft loving way.

I will wear the gleaming sweat on my throat, like a

jewel and I will be an embarrassment to all…

especially my family…

who have not yet found the peace

in being free to have dogs as your best friends….

These friends who always wait, at any hour, for your footfall…

and eagerly jump to their feet out of a sound sleep, to

greet you as if you are a God.

With warm eyes full of adoring love and hope that you

will always stay,

I’ll hug their big strong necks…

I’ll kiss their dear sweet heads…

and whisper in their very special company….

I look in the Mirror…

and see I am getting old….

this is the kind of person I am…

and have always been.

Loving dogs is easy,

they are part of me.

Please accept me for who I am.

My dogs appreciate my presence in their lives…

they love my presence in their lives……

When I am old this will be important to me…

you will understand when you are old….

if you have dogs to love too.

My Dogs Live Here, Amen!

Author unknown, submitted by Salma Usman

My dogs live here, they’re here to stay.

You don’t like pets, be on your way.

They share my home, my food, my space,

this is their home, this is their place.

You will find dog hair on the floor,

they will alert you’re at the door.

They may request a little pat,

a simple “no” will settle that.

It gripes me when I hear you say

“just how is it you live this way?

They smell, they shed, they’re in the way..”

WHO ASKED YOU? is all I can say..

They love me more than anyone,

my voice is like the rising sun,

they merely have to hear me say

“C’mon girls, time to go and play”

Then tails wag and faces grin,

they bounce and hop and make a din.

They never say “no time for you”,

they’re always there, to GO and DO.

And if I’m sad? They’re by my side

and if I’m mad, they circle wide

and if I laugh, they laugh with me,

they understand, they always see.

So once again, I say to you,

come visit me, but know this too.

My dogs live here, they’re here to stay.

You don’t like pets, be on your way.

They share my home, my food, my space,

this is their home, this is their place.

His Apologies

By Rudyard Kipling, submitterd by Doug White


Master, this is Thy Servant. He is rising eight weeks old.

He is mainly Head and Tummy. His legs are uncontrolled.

But Thou hast forgiven his ugliness, and settled him on Thy knee…

Art Thou content with Thy Servant? He is *very* comfy with Thee.

Master, behold a Sinner! He hath committed a wrong.

He hath defiled Thy Premises through being kept in too long.

Wherefore his nose has been rubbed in the dirt and his self- respect has been bruised.

Master, pardon Thy Sinner, and see he is properly loosed.

Master, again Thy Sinner! This that was once Thy Shoe,

He has found and taken and carried aside, as fitting matter to chew.

Now there is neither blacking nor tongue, and the Housemaid has us in tow,

Master, remember Thy Servant is young, and tell her to let him go!

Master, extol Thy Servant, he has met a most Worthy Foe!

There has been fighting all over the Shop — and into the Shop also!

Till cruel umbrellas parted the strife (or I might have been choking him yet),

But Thy Servant has had the Time of his Life — and now shall we call on the vet?

Master, behold Thy Servant! Strange children came to play,

And because they fought to caress him, Thy Servant wentedst away.

But now that the Little Beasts have gone, he has returned to see

(Brushed — with his Sunday collar on) what they left over from tea.

[…]

Master, pity Thy Servant! He is deaf and three parts blind.

He cannot catch Thy Commandments. He cannot read Thy Mind.

Oh, leave him not to his loneliness; nor make him that kitten’s scorn.

He hath had no other God than Thee since the year that he was born.

Lord, look down on Thy Servant! Bad things have come to pass.

There is no heat in the midday sun, nor health in the wayside grass.

His bones are full of an old disease — his torments run and increase.

Lord, make haste with Thy Lightnings and grant him a quick release!

When God Made the Earth

Author unknown, submitted by Margaret O’Carroll

When God had made the earth and sky,

The flowers and the trees,

He then made all the animals

And all the birds and bees,

When His work was finished

Not one was quite the same

He said “I’ll walk this earth of mine

And give each one a name”

And so He travelled land and sea

And everywhere he went

A little creature followed Him

Until its strength was spent

When all were named upon the earth

And in the sky and sea

The little creature said “Dead Lord,

There’s not one left for me”

The Father smiled and softly said

“I’ve left you till the end

I’ve turned my own name back to front

And called you Dog, my friend.

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