Dog Haiku

Author unknown. Submitted by Sarah Thompson.


I love my master;

Thus I perfume myself with

This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up

In the sunshine, happier than

You ever will be

Today I sniffed

Many dog butts – I celebrate

By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!

Paperboy – come to kill us all –

Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!

Mailman Fiend – come to kill us all –

Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!

Meter reader – come to kill all –

Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!

Garbage man – come to kill all –

Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!

Neighbor’s cat – come to kill all!

Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and

Wiz on each bush. Hello, Spot –

Sniff this and weep.

How do I love thee?

The ways are numberless as

My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!

I am so ecstatic I have

Made a puddle.

I hate my choke chain –

Look, world, they strangle me! Ack

Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Look in my eyes and

Deny it. No human could

Love you as much I do.

Dig under fence – why?

Because it’s there. Because it’s

There. Because it’s there.

I am your best friend,

Now, always, and especially

When you are eating.

You may call them fleas,

But they are far more – I call

Them a vocation.

My humans’ mood is

Romantic – I lie near their

Feet. I blow a big one.

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