Dear Kerries,

Dear Kerries,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two kerries in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a pawprint in the
middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help, because I fall
faster than you can run.

I can not buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Look at videos of Kerries sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out
to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails

straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.

When I am playing the pinball machine, jumping up and trying to grab the ball through the glass is not helpful. Barking at me because I’m not helping
you achieve your goal does not win you any extra brownie points.

My compact discs are not miniature frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary
to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.
In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell other dogs butts. I can not stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you guys to make.

Sincerely,

Your Owner

 

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